The Light Center


The Light Center


My ear plugs couldn’t drown out the crashing noises coming from outside my camper. I had driven all night down bumpy gravel roads in between endless corn fields to find The Light Center. Still exhausted, I made myself some coffee and went outside to meet this new community who woke me up with their laughter and peculiar banging sounds.IMG_5850

Dressed in cabbage patch overalls and smashing old pottery with a hammer, Robin Goff, the Founder of The Light Center (, was teaching a handful of young people from IYOU (International Youth of Unity) how to create a mosaic table. They were breaking old dishes and colored glass when I approached the messy masterpiece-in-progress. After exploring the gardens full of flowers, fairies, gnomes, and angels, I joined the group and contributed trinkets from my camper’s alter to the mosaic table.


Nakomis stuck in a tree

Every day was packed with community potlucks and fun consciousness-shifting activities. Admire, Nosisa, and Thelene from South Africa, along with Macy and Daryl from Missouri, and Ginger, Chloe, Martin, Kelly, and Maura from Texas had all auspiciously gathered at The Light Center.

And then there was me…the random RV touring author chick who drove all the way from Florida with three cats and a heart full of curiosity and adventure. My cat-angels were introduced to the dogs of The Light Center, and Nakomis was chased up a tree while screaming like a damsel in distress.


Break Through Your Threshold @ TLC


Within the first few days, I taught Break Through Your Threshold, Hypnosis and the Subconscious Mind, and hosted a ThirdEyeSpoken ( poetry gathering for the guests in the barn. We played a game where the audience threw words at me, and I free-styled them into spoken word poetry on the spot. We laughed so hard our cheeks hurt.IMG_5965

IMG_5974For 4th of July, I watched the teens from South Africa beam with joy at their first experience of swimming in a concrete swimming pool. The Baldwin City Community Pool sponsored games, dancing, food, and relay races for the holiday weekend. A relay team was short one person, so I jumped in the race, since I used to competitively swim and dive in high school. I hadn’t moved my body that fast across a pool in over twenty years and about croaked! Admire showed off his wild flips and cannon balls on the high dive, so I whipped out a few diving tricks of my own. Yep, I was that rusty awkward adult trying to pull of champion dives, and succeeding at belly flops.



IMG_5996Back at The Light Center, I gave out fireworks, and we blew bottle rockets from our hands and played with sparklers around the fire. This was another first experience for the teens of South Africa. Seeing them light up with enthusiasm made me aware of how often I take the small things (like the convenience of fireworks) for granted. We piled into cars on Sunday, and I taught Break Through Your Threshold after the morning service at Unity Village in Lee Summit, Missouri. The participants loved my threshold workshop so much, they asked me to come back.


I was invited to share two ThirdEyeSpoken poetry workshops with the teens of the Annual IYOU Camp that week.  After checking in as a guest teacher, I sat in the lobby of Unity Village Chapel with a peace and stillness I have never experienced before.

“I feel so much peace right now,” I said out loud to the Divine, “I kinda want a little drama to shake things up. Give me a reason to invoke this peace that feels so freely given.”

Within minutes, the alarm went off and everyone started running to the church basement.

“Go downstairs to the basement immediately! This is a tornado alert!” yelled the staff who were herding hundreds of giggling teens.IMG_6246

“Bahahahaha! Okay God, now that’s what I’m talking about!” And I ran downstairs with a big cheesy grin on my face brimming with excitement. I knew nothing about Kansas and Missouri except for that Dorothy, Todo, cornfields, and tornados were supposed to be here. I must admit, driving across country I spent a lot of time daydreaming about the exciting possibility that I might actually get to see a tornado. I’m from Florida. We only get boring hurricanes.

But the Divine got the last laugh. The basement had no windows, so even if there was a tornado close by, I wouldn’t be able to see it. For a moment, I felt jipped by my own manifestation, but then enchantment took place in the basement. Teens from all over the world began singing songs of love and unity to peacefully pass the time. I was in awe.



IMG_6061For two days, I helped those who came to my spoken word poetry workshops create a team piece, which they then shared at their “Spirit Share” talent show.

One of the poetry teens fell ill, so I jumped in and took over their part. The Divine had me on the tip of my toes, anticipating excitement at every twist and turn.


zintangle art

After camp and back at The Light Center, Maura taught us how to make zintangle art. I created a piece that represented my ideal relationship: I am the colorful, creative vitality that adds spice to the world, and he, whoever he may be, is a vast, solid structure of a love and intelligence capable of holding my energy. On another evening, I whipped out my jewelry-making kit so that everyone could make necklaces with fancy gemstones.IMG_5918


Jai Maa & Allaudin

Before the youth and South African guests left, I asked Allaudin, a Dances of Universal Peace leader who I hadn’t seen in years, if he would host a dance at the barn. Friends from all over Kansas and Missouri came for the pot-luck, and we danced for world peace all evening.


Break Through Your Threshold @ Unity Village Chapel


Unity Village

My gifts were being well received, and Unity Village asked me back multiple times to share Break Through Your Threshold. My stories and corny jokes never got old to those who returned over and over again. In fact, I received feedback that these paradigms were beginning to stick and inspire people into purposeful action. Like a domino effect, I was invited to various cities to host my workshops. I was in what I describe as the vacuum effect: I was no longer seeking success because success was seeking me.

One of my “markers” for prosperity success is the freedom to go grocery shopping at a health food store and buy all the organic food I want without looking at the price tag. I was a buy-one-get-one-free kinda gal who loved sales and would settle for generic brands if it meant I could save a dime or two. And then it happened…the scales of my prosperity tipped and I was flowing in so much abundance, I wondered where it had been all my life!


Mondovi & Xinky

There were three things I did consistently that caused my scales to “tip.”

One: I gave everything I wanted to give from a spirit of “I am so grateful I have something to give!”

Two: I didn’t tell anyone how broke I was. There was no need to program my new community with the false idea that I was poor.

Three: Instead of freaking out over my bank account dwindling to less than a dollar from time to time, I would praise God that I had just enough money to buy what I wanted.


Jai Maa & Vicki

One example is when one of the assistants of my Unity Village workshops named Vicki invited me over for dinner. I said I wanted to buy us dessert, and though I only had about eight dollars to my name, I didn’t tell her that. I felt so lucky that I had just enough to get us a Boston Crème Pie, and after I paid for it, I had three cents left in my bank account. I squealed in gratitude, “Thank you God! You are so intelligent! You made sure I would have just enough money for this moment! Why do you love me so much?! You rock!”


First Chess Game Ever Won!

That evening, we played a few rounds of chess, and after being whopped a couple of times, I won my first chess game ever. I may have had only three cents to my name, but I felt like a multi-millionaire.

And that’s when it happened: the flood gates of money abundance poured down on me like Niagara Falls! I got caught up on my debts, I took colleagues out for dinner and paid the bill like a boss, I treated my friends to full body massages at a geisha spa, I bought myself a new wardrobe of goddess dresses, and I never looked at a price tag while organic grocery shopping again…I was in the money!!

IMG_6188The results of transformation were endless. An unusual thing I noticed about being high-on-Spirit was that I no longer felt as attracted to alcohol. I felt too good being clear and manifesting magic, that I didn’t want anything (even my favorite drink, the blood of Christ) to bring me down.

Prosperity took many forms. God sent me an abundance of amazing new friends. MK Muller became one of my earth angels and introduced my work to many of her clients and colleagues. MK is the founder of “8 to Great” ( and she is responsible for getting leading-edge information like the Law of Attraction and Forgiveness work into the Kansas public school systems.

Bonita is another amazing supporter of my work. She missed one of my breathwork workshops, and asked if I would facilitate another one if she organized it. In less than twenty-four hours, she had a house full of participants ready to do cathartic breathing. Abracadabra. Just like that.

The Lavender House

Joni & The Lavender House

Joni had a vision of taking her rental home and turning it into a healing center for years. After attending the Break Through Your Threshold experience, she connected with the courage to bring her vision into fruition. Within two months, she opened The Lavender House (, and I began hosting workshops there!


John & Devin


Jai Maa, Lora, & Andre


Breathwork @ TLC

Adam, Molly, Jim, Kelly, and Tom would come for breathwork and other social gatherings at The Light Center, and became my Kansas/Missouri peeps. I also spent quality time and cooked gourmet meals with Devin and John who were “wwoofers” (World Wide Organization of Organic Farmers) at The Light Center. One of my friends from Gainesville, Andre, happened to be traveling through Kansas and stopped by with his friend from Colorado, Lora, for one of my breathwork workshops. This place was like a magical hub of the United States.

Tim and Peggy came to many of my threshold workshops and weekend retreats, and Linda Rae became my personal cheerleader (she’s actually a cheerleading coach). Valerie also became a close confidant. I made so many wonderful new connections, I didn’t want to leave. I felt like I had a new tribe.


Robin Goff


Yep. This is how we did laundry for real.

And then there is Robin. She is truly one of the most magnificent people I have ever met. She is the creator of this Light Center that attracts traveling light workers, healers, workshop facilitators, young rising leaders, wwoofers, authors, ministers, and leading-edge movers and shakers from far and wide to gather and share their gifts of Light with the world. I experience Robin as deeply loving, gentle, generous, wise, grounded, humble, and gifted, and she is also an incredible healer and light worker. Robin has treated me like family since the moment I arrived. She allows me to borrow her car to get back and forth to my workshops, and she has connected me with many people throughout Kansas and Missouri to promote my work. It is the Robin Goff’s of the world that are impacting humanity with the space holding of Heaven on Earth.

I had only planned to stay here five weeks, but it’s been much longer than that. I try to leave, but can’t. What is the rush? I feel like I am home.

Following the Yellow Brick Road

IMG_5222I slid the Goddessmobile down my folk’s mountain home driveway in between a concrete gate with barely an inch to spare on either side. There was a huge outdoor lamp with an outlet, as well as a spicket for my hose conveniently within reach.IMG_5411

I was a little nervous about how my cats would fair in the deep wilderness of the North Carolina Cherokee Mountains. There were bears, wolves, poisonous snakes, and cats much bigger than my three little kings inhabiting these lush ticketed mountains. My choices were to “control” the situation by locking my companions in like prisoners, thus making them miserable and peeing on my pillows in protest, or to surrender and trust God.
My sister, who I call Heifer, stayed a few days to play with me in the mountains like we did as kids. We rented two tubes for six bucks and floated down the winding bends of Deep Creek. The little deceiving waterfall drops made you flip out of your tube and feel like you were about to drown, but we loved it.

IMG_5101Our next adventure was to Sliding Rock high up on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Sliding Rock is an all natural theme park created by God. Imagine sitting on top of a slick slab of mountain with a river running over it, and sliding down it on your rear slip-n-slide style into a large lagoon below.  It’s a blast!
On our way back to the cabin, I managed to talk Heifer into going on an adventure to hunt for wild blueberries I had found years ago down the side of a popular overlook. We wandered down beautiful paths, and though we never found blueberries, we found sacred treasure places of fairy-land beauty.

My family is incredible.

On different occasions, they treated me to shopping adventures to prepare for my tour. Heifer took me to get everything I needed from my Wal-Mart Super Center list, my dad took me to get everything I needed from my Lowe’s list, and my mom took me dress shopping to doll me up for my upcoming speaking engagements. These were all things I was planning to eventually get, but I didn’t expect my family to be so generous and supportive! They wanted to launch me off with more than what I needed to experience a lavish book tour. I am so blessed.

IMG_5419Before my sis left back home for Hotlanta, my parents surprised us with a birthday cake which we both got to blow out and make wishes. My dad broke out his fancy cognac and we sipped our drinks with Hors d’oeuvres while watching the sunset over the river from the back porch. We even brought out George in his birdcage to join us in our simplified luxury.
“This is the life,” my daddy said.
I admire my dad’s genuine presence and appreciation of ‘the good life.’ It doesn’t take much to make him happy, and I am fortunate to have picked up this trait.

“Oh, God, you scared me!” I said as my dad snuck up on me on the ridge the next day. I was hypnotized by the fact that I could literally open up an organic blackberry farm by the hundreds of wild blackberry bushes growing on our mountain ridge.
IMG_5304“Oh, you should see what these bushes look like in two weeks. You’re only seeing ten percent of what will blossom,” my dad said.

I would be gone in two days heading for Kansas, so I picked as many blackberries as I could to make a pie. Now I understand why they cost so much in grocery stores.  My arms looked like a hot mess after being scratched by all of the thorny vines!

“Daddy, I’m going to sell these for way more than in a grocery store. I can’t believe these are so cheap when people actually bleed to harvest them!”

With Heifer gone, I was on my own to hike down to the river at the bottom of our mountain home property. I geared up with a backpack full of snacks, a walking stick, and my parents support to come pick me up once I arrived at the river.

I made my journey into the unknown with my Guidance…IMG_5209
IMG_5338The trail was grown over and wild foliage covered the majority of the path. It didn’t take long until I could no longer see the trail and had to guess my way down the mountain. I approached “the thicket” that could swallow me whole, and I hacked my way through it on a mission. “The thicket” is a twenty foot high, fifty foot deep plant wall dense with thorns, poison ivy, chiggers, ticks, stinging flies, bull ants the size of your thumb, and things that rattle, hiss, and make I’m-gonna-eat-you noises. It’s typical to fall into holes, get locked up in vines, and have panic attacks while you scramble to get your bearings.

“Angels, please don’t let me get bit by a rattle snake. Or die. Thank you for helping me get to the river. Amen,” and I chopped my way through the plant monster, high on adrenaline.

IMG_5361When I heard the sound of the river, I shrieked in gratitude. I approached the big river rock we played on as kids, and butterflies flew up by the dozens in front of my face like a Walt Disney movieIMG_5368.
“I made it!” I squealed while running up the rock that stretched halfway into the river. For hours, I swam, played, meditated, and texted singing videos to my friends back at home. My legs were eaten up by chiggers and ticks, but I felt beautiful and free.

Back at the cabin my mom made an awesome replenishing dinner, and then whipped out her jewelry making supply once we were done eating. I ran to my camper to feed my angels and grab my supply. Tipsy and giggling like two creative free spirits, we made jewelry until the sun came up.
“What do you think?” she said as she proudly showcased her sixth necklace.
“Holy smokes, you’re getting better mom!”
It’s true. The more you practice anything, the better you get. Repetition breeds mastery.

My folks did their notorious “hi-five” as if they finally got rid of me while I drove my camper out of the driveway. I laughed and waved to them in my rearview mirror that was falling down.

I was on my way to once again teach at Atlantis and stay at the Davy Crockett Birthplace State Park. I was thrilled to see my old friends at both places.
“Jai Maa! You’re back!” Reny said as I pulled into a spot at Davy Crockett.  Reny was an earth angel protector for me on my last tour, and someone who cares about my safety and wellbeing. He noticed that my hose was leaking and gave me one of his brand new hoses. He helped me get parked and set up in the dark with his flashlight, all the while cheerful that I had returned.

Rev. Edward, his wife Alisha, and his assistant, William, picked me up the next day for my first event at Atlantis, “Meet the Author.” While speaking with customers browsing the store, I learned that there was a crystal skull event happening throughout the weekend that seemed to have a lot of hype.

While getting dressed and waiting for my ride the next evening, my Guidance popped in to let me know that my threshold workshop wouldn’t happen, but not to be discouraged.

IMG_5527“I won’t be. I’m happy to put on a beautiful dress and show up anyway,” I said back to them.
And they were right. No one showed up for my workshop.

IMG_5702The old me would have felt as if I did something wrong to manifest a zero turnout. But I didn’t. Instead, I felt sad that people were attracted to an object they believed had magical powers. I truly believe that ascension work (like the Break Through Your Threshold experience) supports one to feel empowered in their own magic, verses relying on magic outside of oneself.

The evening unfolded benevolently. I got to share a few of my healing gifts with Rev. Edward and afterward, we went out for dinner at a local hot spot.

IMG_5665The next day, I facilitated a Breathwork workshop. As everyone began breathing, I noticed that the participants were made up of all men and only one female! Now, this was amazing to me, because it is not common for men to be drawn to a workshop that encourages intense emotional release.

“Thank you, God, for trusting me to facilitate the healing of these men. I am honored to be doing this work,” I prayed while moving around the room offering energy work to the participants.

After the workshop, the men shared their experiences. One was in complete awe and said he didn’t know how to put into words what happened. Another older gentleman said that this was the first time in his entire life that he had ever screamed. I was grateful to be a part of their unique processes and hold space for the healing of the Masculine Divine.
The last workshop I facilitated at Atlantis was the Conscious Communication Course. Ah-ha’s went off like light bulbs and transformational tears were shed. For five hours, we practiced empathic listening skills and assertiveness training. I managed to squeeze in a few private hypnotherapy sessions before packing up the Goddessmobile and continuing my journey out west. Reny helped me unplug my RV and wished me well.

IMG_5738The drive to Kansas would take two days, so I stopped in Kentucky for the night. I found a gas station that had a beer bar inside and was adjacent to a liquor store. I had never heard of such a thing! A bar inside a gas station??? What a trip! I gassed up, grabbed a bottle of Zinfandel, and continued my journey to the Duck Creek RV Park in Kentucky.

Along the way, I pulled over to grab a few sparklers and fun explosives for the Fourth of July happening in just a few days. I knew I’d be arriving at The Light Center in Kansas with a handful of guests from South Africa as well as teens from IYOU (International Youth of Unity) from Missouri and Texas. I wasn’t sure if we could blow things up in the middle of corn fields in Kansas, but in the case that we could, I had more than enough to share with the teens.IMG_5779

I pulled into the Duck Creek RV Park after midnight and thankfully, there was a fiery red-head named Karen who got me settled in. The next morning, I spent hours talking with Karen and the owner, Dana, about all kinds of interesting things. They told me that one of the biggest quilting events in the U.S. takes place in their little Kentucky town, and their RV Park is overflowing with quilting artists from all over. I gave them each a copy of Break Through Your Threshold and put a copy in their guest lending library before I left.

Continuing down the yellow brick road to Kansas, I felt so crappy from a hangover (which I hardly ever get), that I decided I was done with alcohol. It was time to shine, and I didn’t want to be weighed down by anything, even the blood of Christ.

“What in the world is that?” I said out loud to my cats and Guidance. There was a huge light in the sky too high to be a tower and too low to be a star. It wasn’t blinking or moving, so it wasn’t a plane. What in the world was this UFO-looking thing? It wasn’t until later that I learned I was driving to The Light Center under the Bethlehem Star.
I was out of money and almost out of gas as I drove down winding gravel roads in between corn fields and no gas station for twenty miles. Everyone at The Light Center had gone to bed, as they were on farmer-time and I was on my typical night-owl schedule. I surrendered to the thought that in case my GPS didn’t get me to my destination before running out of gas, I could sleep on the side of a dirt road next to a creepy corn field. I did have my shotgun, so I was ready for whatever.

I howled like a wolf under the full moon when I saw the charming little white iron sign with sunflowers that said “The Light Center.”
“We made it!” I cried to my wining cats. We were shot-out and ready for night-night. Sticky and desperately needing a shower, I crawled into bed with a mushy brain and smiled. I couldn’t believe I was actually here.

The MIP Tour: 3 Cats and a Shotgun

IMG_5055I was sitting on the toilet when my angels interrupted me, “This is your MIP Tour.” They don’t view privacy as important as we in human form do.

I flashed back to my 7th, 8th, and 9th grade school years where I learned an important lesson about my ability to succeed. I was a part of the swim team and was pretty much the slowest swimmer in the entire county. It was pitiful to watch me flop across the pool, trying with every bit of my might not to come in last. Everyone seemed to finish the races twice as quickly as I did. I flat-out sucked.

The following year, I somehow kept up with everyone. I didn’t practice over the summer, I was just much, much better. My coach even put me on the relay team because I could actually keep up with her best swimmers. That year, I received the MIP (Most Improved Player) Award.

Then, in my 9th grade year, I became a competitive one-meter-spring board diver and was pretty awesome at it. My school had never had a diving team before, and therefore never accumulated those extra valuable diving points to win a swim meet. I was the reason my school was now kicking ass and winning swim meets. That year, I received the MVP (Most Valuable Player) Award.

“My MIP Tour, huh?” I smiled as I got off the toilet.IMG_5060

On this tour, I was going alone with my three cats and a shotgun. I had been corresponding with The Light Center in Kansas for months and was finally ready to head out west. I felt vulnerable and scared, but ready for a new adventure that would stretch beyond my first tour. My first tour was so choppy, I almost gave up and sold my RV to move to Greece. The Divine had other plans for me…

I had a lot to prepare for. My sink was leaking, my check engine light was on, and I had lots of do-dads that needed repairing. My neighbor replaced my broken sink fixtures, and I crawled under my sink with a flashlight to repair a pipe that was leaking. I then popped my hood to replace my dead battery and fill all necessary engine fluids.

A fellow at the local auto parts store was so impressed by the fact that I was not only about to drive my RV by myself across country, but I was also willing to learn how to do my own RV repairs.

“Damn, you don’t even need a man!” he praised.

I frowned.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being an empowered woman. I pride myself by the fact that I can accomplish any task I set my mind to. I love my strength, courage, and versatile intelligence. I love being an independent woman who answers only to the Divine within me.

And, I would also love to share my life adventure with a partner. I would be awesome if the right man could help drive the RV, carry the heavy loads, put air in the tires, and empty the poo tank for me. You know, man stuff. I would prefer to simply wear goddess dresses, facilitate healings and seminars, and keep the home beautiful. As awkward as it is for a boss like me to admit this, I want to be taken care of.

“You have some kind of leak in the hose, but don’t worry. It shouldn’t cost much to get fixed,” said the local RV repairman. “Just take it down the street to the auto-repair shop. I don’t have the equipment needed to make this repair.”

Once in town, the auto-repair shop told me my repairs would cost $2,000! I broke down into tears as I drove back home. My trip was only two days away and I didn’t have that kind of money. I don’t own a credit card, and had no idea how I would come up with two grand in two days. I was in Have-Do-Be mode and felt devastated. If I only had the money, I could do the repairs, and be free to travel.

“How are you going to bail me out of this one this time, God?!” I said sarcastically with tears streaming down my face. I knew I was hitting my threshold and it was terrifying. I did everything I tell people not to do in my workshops. The first thing I considered was watering down my goal:

I could just take my car out to Kansas for the two workshops that are already booked…that’s if my run-down car will even make it to Kansas…..or maybe I could rent another camper. That’s what I’ll do, I’ll rent a camper!

I ran inside and started researching like a maniac in Do-Have-Be mode. If I did enough research, I could have a working camper and be free to go on my tour. Feeling “in control” again, I researched feverishly only to discover that to rent a camper just like mine would be six times the amount of my repairs! I felt scared of feeling humiliated if I failed. I am out there in the world challenging others to break through their thresholds and here I was, convinced that it was not possible for me to break through mine.

“God, I know you are bigger than my $2,000 expense…I know that I see this as an obstacle, and for You it is nothing. I feel scared that you won’t pull through for me,” I said pacing the yard like a coo-coo off their meds.
“You know, this could be another threshold breakthrough story to share with people on you next tour. Take yourself through your threshold process,” I heard my Guidance say.

Hope entered my consciousness again.

“Okay. So focus on what I want with no compromise. I don’t want to shorten my trip and drive my car. I want to take my camper, not a rental…with my stuff and my cats. I want my RV fixed, God,” I cried.
“Do you trust?” the soft voice of my Guidance said (and no, I’m not schizophrenic, I really do talk to my angels).
“I’m open to trusting again. I know God wants me to succeed.” I could feel myself touch the edges of faith consciousness. I wasn’t on my pivot point yet, but I was getting close.
“Okay, I am willing to play the game. I trust God! What do I do now?” I said with enthusiasm.
“Go mow the lawn,” my Guidance said.
“We are taking care of the Universal details. We can’t mow the lawn for you. You have to do that, so go do it.”

I grabbed the mower and began mowing the huge lawn, trusting that mowing was the only action step I needed to take in order to get to Kansas.

I was now in Be-Do-Have mode. I was being trusting that things would work out, so I mowed the lawn, and then I had the answer to my prayer ringing my phone when I went inside for a water break.

“I heard about what the car place down the street was trying to charge you, and I think you should get another opinion,” said the kind voice of my elderly friend, Getzen. “There is a retired fellow who lives a few doors down from you who could help and give you an honest price.”

Getzen couldn’t remember exactly which house this retired auto-mechanic lived in, so I knocked on every door down the dirt road like a mad woman. A gentle eighty-year-old man with a tremor in his hand named Mr. Railey answered the last door I knocked on. After taking a look at my engine, he suggested a leak sealant he believed would do the trick. And just like that, God turned a $2,000 expense into under $50 in one night.

I finished mowing the yard full of gratitude. I had tears of joy from breaking through my threshold and was now in the clear.

“You have to stop now,” my Guidance said.
“I just have a tiny bit more to do and then I’m done,” I said still pushing the mower.
“You’re having a heatstroke. If you don’t stop now, you will not be able to drive your RV. You have done a good job. Put up the mower and go pack your RV,” they said.

As I headed for the shower, my ears began ringing and I started to black out. I had weird cold spots on my face, and I felt like I was going to puke or faint or possibly both.
But I was on a mission. I showered, packed up my stuff, and drove me and my kitties to Atlanta with my ears still ringing from the heatstroke.
“You’re missing a piece to your RV,” my sister said knocking on my door at an ungodly time in the morning. I had arrived at around 3a.m. and passed out in the parking lot of her apartment complex. I walked outside to see that the door to one of my outside compartments had flown off while driving…nothing a little duck tape and a black garbage bag couldn’t fix.

With my sister following close behind, we headed to North Carolina to spend a few days with our folks in the Cherokee mountains. I had broken through one hell of a threshold, and was now in the vacuum effect. The greatest magic of my life was about to unfold.

Homeward Bound: A Successful First Tour

IMG_1839We drove into a charming, quiet suburban road like rednecks on a mission. My friend and host of my Greenville, South Carolina living room workshop, Brian Jourdan, led us up a black iron banister-stairway and into his quiet, yet elegant country home. Since we still had over an hour before guests would begin to arrive, we piled into cars and went out for a bite to eat at a healthy, local restaurant. After lunch, Marie left early to the Lake Lanier guest house and the rest of us created breakthrough magic in Brian’s living room.IMG_1810

I am always amazed at who is attracted to attend the Break Through Your Threshold experience. The quality of the conversations and visions that are created in my workshops humble me. Our world is full of beautiful heart desires that could allow Heaven back on Earth gracefully, if we set ourselves free from the make-believe boxes we think confine and define us.

IMG_1845Afterward, Brian took us out for the evening to experience the art and class of downtown Greenville, South Carolina. After indulging in sushi, we strolled around the busy, clean streets taking in the vibe of the culture. There were a group of young adults who were playing on the well-manicured grass with baskets labeled:

Have a need? Take or Leave
Borrow a Toy
Free WaterIMG_1857

Greenville felt like a place I could call home. I couldn’t help but wonder how many more beautiful cities are tucked away on our gorgeous planet and awaiting me to discover. I had been grounded in Gainesville, Florida for over ten years. Now I was grounding myself in flight, expanding what I considered to be “home” and seeing our planet as a place of splendor that I am blessed to wander.

IMG_1836Brian led us over a bridge that was built a few years ago by an artistic architect. There was something about the powerful muddy river that thundered under the pristine bridge walkway that mirrored how I felt inside. I was on the first excursion of a life long adventure and knew that there was no turning back. I want to live an extraordinary life. And that means conquering fear, and committing to the effort necessary to enlighten beyond a mundane existence.

My realizations didn’t make my life easier or more comfortable. On the contrary, it seems more painful to be aware of how much I leak my energy, settle and compromise, hide and play small, and resign to excessive drinking to check out from the overwhelm of responsibility. I was processing a lot on this trip and knew I had a lot of regrouping when I got home. As much fun as I was making out of my experience, I was looking forward to be back in Florida by myself on the river again.

After our fabulous evening with my friend, Brian, I took in a big sigh at the drive still ahead. It was already late in the evening and we still had another three hours to our next destination. Janna and Olivier’s high spirits kept me energized, laughing and playing like the sound of freedom. The Goddessmobile felt like a fort on wheels with three big kids and three cats, traveling on our very own treasure hunt adventure.IMG_1865

IMG_1803We wanted to make a ‘quick stop’ at Walmart to grab a few things before heading off into the woods of Georgia.
Quick stop my ass.
Trying to find a Walmart was like trying to find God in the heart of an atheist. Siri (my little I-Phone robot friend who helpfully speaks the GPS directions out loud) kept driving us around the interstates in circles. I wanted to shoot myself.

“Oh, we are supposed to go the other way,” Janna said for the umpteenth time.
“We’re in an RV, Siri, it’s not like turning around a car!” I yelled along with a few extra decorative cuss words to convey my distress.
“I’m sorry about this, but I can’t take any requests right now. Please try again later,” Siri said and then we were really lost. I backed up into someone’s driveway down some random dark road to turn around. By the time we found a Walmart almost two hours later and in the opposite direction of where we were headed, I was ready to crash in the parking lot with a bottle of wine and call it a night.

IMG_1859Giving Olivier his first experience in Walmart was a reality show worth filming. Janna guided him around and pointed out different things like an enthusiastic tour guide from Walt Disney World. People were looking at us like we had escaped from a loony bin. Nope. Just two chicks from Polk County, Florida and a French man getting lost in an RV adventure with three screaming cats…enough to make anyone crazy.

I questioned my sanity making the rest of the drive to the lake house in Georgia over three hours away. I needed to make a stop at my bank and pulled right up to the teller ATM with an inch between my RV and the roof. Delirious and wired on adrenalin, we were having the most fun possible just to stay awake. I would have given anything for a Starbucks, but the one we pulled up to was closed. I prayed like hell that we would arrive at our destination safely.

IMG_1907I deserve an award for making it down the impossible, narrow, winding dirt road obstacle course at 5:00am without getting any of us killed. I was so tired I was starting to see shadow people in my peripheral vision, but still managed to not drive over the cliff-like edges on the way to the tucked-way lake house.

After a few nights at the lake house, Olivier left with Marie back to Florida and Janna and I returned to our first stop at Shady Groove Camp Ground. Being night owls and once again, on very little sleep, we only had minutes before we needed to be moved from the lake house driveway.IMG_1868

“Xinky! Xinky! I can’t find my cat!”
Of course this would be the time my cat decides to dip out and make it impossible to find him. Janna finally discovered him sitting in the nearby tall grass with his arms crossed, posed as if he was king of the mountain watching us dumb little minions scramble around.

Since the driveway was narrower than a Bible-thumper’s pathway to God, it was impossible to turn Baby Bella the Goddessmobile around without falling off a cliff. Janna guided me as I backed up like a champ and then we were off to our next stop which was supposedly only ten minutes away. We plugged in the address to the GPS and would you believe that there are two exact addresses that both lead to RV Parks opposite side each other on Lake Lanier?

Really Georgia???

IMG_1944IMG_1913We drove forty-five minutes to the wrong RV Park! I was having another one of those I-want-to-shoot-myself moments. After driving to the other side of the lake, we plugged in to our original spot at Shady Grove and relaxed for the rest of the day. I only had two more workshops and then I would be homeward bound to Florida.IMG_1983

My sister, who I call Heifer, came and picked us up one evening for dinner and wine. We have all known each other since birth and danced around the house singing songs from Mariah Carey like three childhood friends.

Heifer drove us to the Phoenix and Dragon Book Store for my Break Through Your Threshold workshop the next day. We were moved to a separate building away from the store after an employee complained that my workshop would “disturb his sessions” in the room next to where I was instructed to teach. I didn’t understand what the big deal was, I was on the store’s calendar for over a month. The owner who booked me wasn’t there and this employee seemed so unhappy that I was teaching in the room next to him that it wasn’t worth creating more tension. So, we surrendered to the flow.IMG_1999

We were led across the parking lot to a building where no one would see us, so we improvised and trusted that God would bring the right people to the Break Through Your Threshold experience. Janna went back over to the store and invited people who were shopping while I set up across the street. She came back with a few people who didn’t know about my workshop and though we were a small group, the quality of the conversation and the heart desires expressed in the room were immense. I couldn’t help but again be in wonder at the awesomeness of God.

IMG_2029The next day, I taught at Atlanta Unity Church, a church that has a congregation of about four hundred people. The minister forgot to mention my workshop during the announcements, even though he had met me moments earlier. After the service I taught to three people, including Janna. The kind and accommodating staff member who had booked me at the church tried to reassure me that this particular group was ‘not into workshops.’
But I knew differently.
I felt energetically depleted from the trip. I knew that how I felt about myself manifested my results, and the mirror of reality never lies.
I also knew that this was my first go-around. I was just getting out into the big, vast world to share my gifts. It was only a matter of time, trust, patience, diligence, and giving the best I could at every moment that would eventually create a snowball of success. I was a baby on this journey and just learning to crawl. As long as I didn’t give up, I would one day become a walking toddler, a running child, a risk-taking teenager, a responsible adult, and, eventually, a wise sage in my adventure. “Living on purpose” is a relationship that needs nurture and commitment just like any other relationship of love. And I am committed to and in love with my purpose!

Once again, quality over quantity. One of the young ladies who came to my workshop lit up ecstatically about what she really wanted to create in her business, home, and love-life. She was already a powerful young woman, and now she saw that the only thing holding her back was lack of faith in herself and God.
This was a beautiful conclusion to a successful first trip. No body died. We never had to sleep in a random parking lot. My cats were safe. And we always ate like goddesses.

We even had a park ranger pull up to our site and say, “Ma’am, out of all these years I’ve been patrolling these parks, I have never seen anyone travel with three cats like you do! I can’t believe they just hang around and don’t run away.”
This was just another reminder that by taking a leap of faith and simply going on my tour was powerful and not to be taken for granted.

IMG_2048There was a part of me that truly loved the choppiness of not knowing what the hell I was doing and doing it anyway out on the road. I had learned so much about what not to do next time, and laughed at myself for stubbornly learning everything the hard way. An angel could have come down from Heaven with a book on what to do and I would have said, “Screw your book, I will find out myself.” That attitude has gotten me in a lot of trouble, but has also gotten me farther than trusting anyone else’s wisdom above my own experience.

On our way home, we counted just enough money for gas and even had enough to stop and fill up my LP tank for cooking. We were a few exits away from our final destination when I noticed my gas tank was empty.

“I don’t understand,” I said, “we just stopped for gas a little while ago. Do you think there is something wrong with my gas gauge?”
“That is weird. Something must be wrong with the gauge. I think we will get home, don’t worry about it,” Janna said.
“I don’t know, maybe we should stop. I have about $30 left.”
“I promise we are fine, let’s just go.” Janna said and I drove right past an exit that had about six gas stations visible from the interstate. My head did one of those Hollywood-movie slow turns as I dramatically said inside to myself, “Noooooooooo….” Sure enough, my pedal stopped moving forward. We were out of gas.
“Crap, I think we are really out of gas. I’m going to pull over at this rest stop.” I literally rolled into the exit and came to a stop in a parking space. Janna and I got out and started asking people for help.

IMG_2051“Jai Maa, I found someone who will help us!” Janna said as she led me to two fellows who were also traveling in an RV.
“I don’t have any cash on me. Can I write you a check?”
“No ma’am,” one of them said politely, “we have been in the exact same boat and nobody helped us. We were stranded for hours! I’m just glad that we can help you right now.”
“Thank you so much, we are truly grateful,” I said as they poured their extra gas into our tank. “Can I give you my book?”
“Sure, what’s it about?” The other fellow asked and we engaged in a ten minute conversation about trusting ourselves and “playing big.” These two travelers were on the verge of giving up on traveling because they felt discouraged by their obstacles. They were actually on their way back home to sell their RV and toss in the towel to their dream. I ministered to them for a few minutes and encouraged them to never give up, especially since their miracle must be soon approaching. They appreciated our conversation and left in high spirits with a renewed hope for their traveling dream. Janna and I were back on the road and giggled about how wild God is in turning our clumsiness into a Divine meeting.IMG_1936

As we neared our final destination in High Springs, Florida, I could not remember where the gate was for us to drive Baby Bella down a larger, safer driveway that had been opened for us earlier that evening. It was late and I could not get a hold of my land-lady, and once again, we were almost out of gas!

“I don’t know what to do, Janna, do you think we should try and see if we can slither this thing down that narrow driveway?”
“Yes, let’s just do it! I totally trust that we will make it!” Janna is an awesome cheerleader.

We road down the tiny-itsy-bitsy-narrow road with our fingers and toes crossed and made it! After plugging in the hoses and letting the cats out to a familiar property, we jumped into Janna’s car (which was out of gas) to go get my car (which was also out of gas) and then head to a friend’s who was making us a gourmet welcome home dinner….with wine, of course.

This completes the last blog to the first book tour. Blogs on current tour will be coming soon!

I’ve heard of Asheville, but where’s Durham?

IMG_1681I felt like I had turned into a pumpkin by the time I pulled into Starr and Arianna’s home in Durham, North Carolina. After a long day of seeing a client in Tennessee, then packing up and moving to Asheville, then unpacking and setting up the Goddessmobile, I drove another three and a half hours to take Starr back her car on the other side of the state. I was exhausted.

Starr and Arianna are sisters from Gainesville who moved to the most random city in North Carolina to “get away from it all.” I have known Starr since she was in high school and Arianna since elementary school. The smiles on their faces along with an after-midnight snack made me feel like I could collapse into the arms of caring friends. I was relieved to see them.

I was feeling worn down by my trip.
The effort to keep up a happy face to hide my experience of survival-mode was exhausting. I felt like a toddler in a raw learning curve, enduring lessons the hard way and painfully experiencing what I would do differently next time.

Focus on the good.
Just have fun.
Don’t worry, be happy.
Stay positive.

…were records I repeated in my head like a spiritual fru-fru to ignore the fact that I was leaking a tremendous amount of energy. It was easy to remain at my current level of consciousness. All I had to do was turn my pain into a party and check out from what I truly wanted…
to expand…
to prosper…
to thrive…

IMG_1415Positive affirmations and lots of wine helped numb the feeling that I was failing miserably. I shared stories of the trials, tribulations, hardships, fears, and endless magical occurrences with my sister friends before heading to bed.

The following day, we had a workshop in their living room with neighbors and friends. With a Christian sitting next to an Atheist, I knew Spirit was giving me a new test. My brain worked at the speed of light as I said the same thing two different ways like a Swahili on crack.IMG_2215

I loved it.

Truth is universal and everyone can hear it, no matter what their beliefs may be.

My light bulbs were going off like rocket ships while I communicated how scientific co-creating with God (or Universe, ethers, Love, etc.) actually is. And yet, its magical gap of Faith is unexplainably beautiful. I felt stretched and fired up by the challenge to convey Truth in a way all could understand. Finding words to not offend a die-hard Christian, yet connect with and include the scientific mind of an Atheist grew me as a facilitator.

Feeling back in my groove again, I danced around the living room, high as a kite on bliss when the workshop was complete.

IMG_1678“We have a surprise for you, Jai Maa,” Starr giggled.

“We’re taking you somewhere fun tonight. No more stressing out. We’re going dancing!” Arianna said.

“Oh, umm…that’s nice…okay, and maybe I will stay home and rest since I usually like to regroup after a workshop,” I said wanting to pull my head in my turtle shell.IMG_1669

Though I am a night owl, I really don’t care for going out in the ‘night life’. I am an introverted empath and my energy field can get drained and scattered when I am out in public during party hours.

“But it’s a pajama contest party, you have to come!” Starr said, hearing the oh-crap-I-wanna-run in my voice.IMG_1680

“Yeah, we’re going to dress up and it will be fun! It won’t be the same without you!” chimed in Arianna.

“Okay, but if I start to get drained, I want to come back here,” and they both lit up like Christmas trees from my surrender.

Playing dress up and creating a photo shoot in the living room with my two crazy friends brought out the little girl in me again. I learned that the pajama party contest was at an African American gay club, which made it that much more interesting. We stuck out like sore thumbs being the only white and heterosexual people in the entire club.


IMG_1664But we didn’t care, we won the contest!IMG_1667
…that’s because we were the only dumb-asses who actually dressed up in pajamas! Arianna got first place, Starr got second, and I got third with my cute little pick-tails and teddy bear popping out of my purse. We danced the entire evening and closed down the club. Everyone there loved us.

Outside The Bar, there was a sandwich van and we chowed down on hot subs with melted cheese. We even bought a sub for a drug addict who tried her best to hustle us for money, but only succeeded in a meal. You can’t always get what you want. But you always get what you need.


IMG_1696I woke up the next day to all the household pets snuggling me in the bed. I’m positive that the purring vibrations of four cats and a licking pink tongue of a happy dog healed my hangover. I forced myself to get up out of my pool of bliss in order to do laundry. Janna would be here to pick me up soon and there wasn’t much time to get ready. I looked everywhere for my laundry, but only found its empty bag. Outside strung along the fence and hanging from a tree was my laundry drying in the warm sun. Starr had washed my clothes while I was asleep and Arianna cooked me a nice meal as I waited for Janna and her friend to come pick me up.

IMG_1776Back in Asheville, I noticed my camper was leaking all over the place. After praying like hell, turning off the hose, and drying up the floors with a dozen towels, I was relieved to discover that it was the outdoor pressure hose that was causing the leak and not something that was wrong with my camper. Thank God.

IMG_1718My friends, Marie from Florida and her brother, Olivier from France, had arrived to Asheville to meet me on my book tour. We went downtown and had a to-die-for-dinner at a classy vegetarian restaurant before wandering through the city to find the drum circle.IMG_1737

The streets were full of musicians, artists, and a variety of entertainers, and we stopped to hear a woman sing her heart out to spiritual hymns. The drum circle at the downtown square was jammed packed with mountain hippies and travelers. People danced with glowing hula hoops and a couple of folks let us beat their African drums to contribute to the rhythms of circle. To top off the evening, we had coffee and dessert in a two story bus! Asheville is a fun, eclectic place of art, spirituality, and healing energies. I will definitely visit again.

As I was preparing for bed, Olivier knocked on my camper door in his pajamas with guitar in hand.

“Can I sing for you a lullaby?” he said in his broken-English French accent.

“Sure, but I can’t hang out too long, I need rest for my workshop tomorrow,” I said as I let him in.

IMG_1730I met Olivier on Facebook years ago and he would write me long letters that were challenging to understand, but strengthened my empathic abilities. When I let go of trying to understand from my mind, I could hear and feel what he was communicating. Now I speak “Olivier” and we have been friends ever since.

About two years ago, Olivier came from France to visit his sister in Alachua, Florida and meet me in person. He stayed at my home for a few days and I introduced him to a handful of my closest friends. Now, he was back for another visit and asked his sister if she would drive him to wherever I was to visit me. Marie, being one of my favorite people in the world, generously created a road trip for her brother to come see me on my first book tour. I felt grateful for their presence and support.

The following day, Marie, Olivier, and I got an early start to visit The Light Center in Black Mountain, NC, before my workshop. We drove up the beautiful winding roads to this healing center resting on the mountain.IMG_1762

Inside The Light Center, was a dome meditation room with lights and healing sounds to align your chakras. It was like being in a slow moving rainbow. Each color invoked a different emotional and psychological response intended for healing. Before we left, Marie gave the office manager a copy of Dr. David Wolf’s book, Relationships That Work, and I gave them a copy of my book, Break Through Your Threshold, to add to their library.

IMG_1769When we arrived at my next living room workshop, I jumped out of the car and hugged the neck of a woman I hadn’t seen in over a decade. Marnie was a mutual friend of one of my best friends in Tampa, Florida, who I call Ahimsa Moon.

While I was already in route and wanting to visit Asheville, I had trouble booking my workshop at any of the healing centers, churches, or book stores. I even had my friend, Mia from Gainesville, look up and call as many places she could find, but everyone wanted at least a month’s notice. I did not have a month, but I did have clear intention to share Break Through Your Threshold in Asheville. I had the intuitive idea to post on Facebook:IMG_1767

Does anyone know anyone in Asheville who would be open to having me teach my workshop in their living room?

…and then I watched Spirit do the rest. People were forwarding my post to connections in Asheville and finally, I was put in contact with Marnie. I had only met her a few times, but she seemed happy to have me!

IMG_1770So here we were, in her charming two story cabin home with a beautiful view. She was celebrating her birthday and invited a handful of her powerful women friends come out for a pot-luck and experience personal growth for her birthday. Janna arrived with the owner of our bed-and-breakfast and we got down to business.

I felt privileged to be serving a room of such amazing movers-and-shakers. This was a group of women who knew each other well and were vulnerably disclosing their greatest dreams. I watched them support and challenge each other to break through their fears and create what they wanted with no compromise.

“Note to self,” I said quietly in my mind, “do more living room workshops. This is a magical way for communities to hold each other accountable and create what they really want.”

IMG_1787Our Asheville trip was short, but a success! Marie left to get an early start to our next destination and Olivier stayed behind to experience his first ride in a R.V. We packed up the Goddessmobile, hugged our wonderful bed-and-breakfast host, and managed to back down a steep, narrow gravel driveway without falling off a cliff.IMG_1785

I barely made it a few yards before I heard an unusual sound coming from my tires. It sounded like a stick that was stuck in a spoke, so I pulled over. There was no stick, but one of my hubcaps was missing! We called our host and she found it in her yard and brought it to us. Once we had it popped back on, we were off to Greenville, South Carolina. Missing hubcaps don’t make the kind of sound I heard. I truly believe my angels were following me down the road with a stick until I pulled over.
They never left my side.

The Abundance of Atlantis

IMG_1321Finally, the weekend was here. TGIF. Thank God I’m Free. Most people look forward to a weekend off, but I was looking forward to a weekend on. I had seven workshops booked and was eager to trail blaze through a fiery weekend of healing magic.

I stopped considering weekends weekends years ago. Friday nights, Saturdays, and Sundays were just like every other day of the week: free to create whatever I wanted with the time that I had. It didn’t matter when I worked because I didn’t work.

I played.
I created.
I served.
And I imagined the entire world living in a similar Heaven on Earth of creative freedom.

It was Friday night and I had three mini workshops booked for the downtown community art walk. Businesses along the district opened up their doors to people casually strolling in from the streets and the central avenue was blocked off from traffic. Inside the classroom of the Atlantis Spiritual Center, I hosted three short workshops.

One was about the three entrapments of the soul; glory, competition, and devotion. Glory comes from needing constant acknowledgement for deeds too small, competition derives from the consistent belief of lack in the world, and devotion comes from putting anyone on a pedestal or choosing to go up on a pedestal yourself…the belief that we are not equal. I explained why these three paradigms shackle a soul in human incarnation which opened up an enlivening conversation amongst the group.

In the next segment, I shared about the various ways we leak energy. We leak energy in relationships by saying yes when we mean no, in finances when we buy things that don’t serve our higher purpose in life, in our body when we don’t rest when we are tired, and in our mind when we worry about anything.IMG_1370

The last class I spoke about the distinction between Truth and Illusion, one of my personal favorites. With a volunteer demonstration, I showed how the heart easy opens and feels light whenever our mind is leaning toward a Truth and how it clinches and closes when our mind is engaged in illusion. As always, I included personal stories in each class and found people chuckling in relation with my clumsy spiritual growth process. One of my best attributes as a teacher is the willingness to be a vulnerable, transparent human with all of my flaws and shortcomings along with my power and beauty. If I can’t laugh at myself, then what’s the point in trying to teach others how to “lighten” up?

IMG_1305We were pleased with the evening and since the Divine had blessed us with money, Janna and I stopped at Walmart on our way home to get a few necessary groceries. Feeling like millionaires, we bought toilet deodorant for the RV tank, a few nutritious food items, and even treated ourselves to a Redbox movie, The Winter’s Tale.

Who would have thought that such simple things could bring so much joy and satisfaction? We were on the up-and-up.

Saturday was round two.

In the afternoon, I facilitated a breathwork workshop and led the room through cathartic breathing to discharge toxic emotion trapped in the cells. The room was softly lit from the sun trickling in from the windows and gentle African drumming and Native American flutes played quietly from the cd player in the background. The ambiance easily summoned the participants into trance as they began the deep breathing.

I moved through the space quietly, approaching each member and offering energy work to help shift their emotional blockages. The participants moaned, cried, screamed, and whaled their arms as they released decades of suppressed grief and anger from their bodies. The temperature increased by 10 degrees, which for me was a sign that angels where in the room assisting with the healing. At the end of the session, I led the group into a chakra mediation and rubbed the temples of each participant with lavender oil. Finishing up a breathwork session with a head massage is my own personal recipe of leaving one in ecstasy after they have moved through their emotional hell.

“I have never experienced anything like that in my entire life,” one participant said, “will you please do this again so that my fiancé can take this workshop? He needs to experience this.”
“Yes,” I said, “I’m sure I can arrange staying another day.”

After a quick lunch break, I came back for my signature workshop, Break Through Your Threshold. The founder Kay, her husband, Janna, and one other were the only ones there, but I didn’t mind. This is my baby. And I trust that whoever shows up is sent by Divine meeting. Even if it is just one person, I deliver the same enthusiasm as if I were speaking to an auditorium of people. By the end of the evening, we were all high on possibility and vibrating with joy. God I love my job.

Sunday, round three.

I began the afternoon with shadow work. Yummy. We all took a look at how we unconsciously project the unhealed parts of ourselves onto the world around us. I finished the day with one more Break Through Your Threshold workshop. Kay had spread the word that Break Through Your Threshold was a workshop not to be missed and the room was filled this time.

IMG_1278There was an older couple who sat quietly in the back with stony poker faces. I can never tell what people are thinking when they are quiet. What are they taking in? Do they jive with what I am saying? Do they think I am a load of crock? What?!! When the evening ended, they waited until most of the room had left before approaching me.

“That was the most remarkable thing I have seen in a long time. I knew you from Egypt,” the older gentleman said.IMG_1279
This man had my attention.
“Not many people recognize me from that life,” I said curiously and we continued to talk about experiences we shared from a long, long time ago.

Here I thought that I was boring this couple to tears, but they took in every word I said and saw me…they truly, deeply saw me. On top of the love I received, I also booked two clients and one more breathwork workshop before I left for the evening. Our trip was extending because of the demand of my services and it felt great.

IMG_1327Back at the Davy Crockett RV Park, we celebrated with wine, Goddess Dogs and a homemade apple pie. What are Goddess Dogs you ask? The most pimp hot dogs on the face of the planet!! I pulled out my griddle and sautéed bella mushrooms, garlic, and onions with rosemary and olive oil. Then I melted IMG_1345provolone cheese on mayo-layered hoagie rolls that had been toasted until the cheese melted down the sides. With a splash of Dijon and Barbeque sauce on the smothered sausage and garnished with a side of multicolored organic root chips dashed with lime, you’ve got yourself one hell of an orgasmic dinner.

IMG_1366We followed up our poetic meal with my first attempt at making an apple pie. Without a recipe, I heated maple syrup, cinnamon sticks and a touch of paprika in the griddle to make a gooey, bubbling hot sauce and sautéed the organic green apples we got from the farmer’s market. I spent top dollar on the best organic pie crust we could find and whipped up a pie like Betty RV Crocker. We moaned over the pie even more than we did the goddess dogs…life reached the gauge of perfect once again.

Monday made a delightfully unexpected round four.

I left for the Atlantis Spiritual Center to see a client for hypnotherapy and facilitated another breathwork workshop that evening. Just as promised, the woman brought her fiancé to the session and he, quite arguably, had the most powerful experience out of all participants from both workshops.

IMG_1244There’s something about facilitating healing work that makes me want to eat like a Soma wrestler. Back at the ranch, Janna and I whipped up a decadent salad with avocado and sharp cheeses. I have a hard time throwing avocado seeds away, so I began another avocado tree seedling. I have grown dozens of avocado trees and planted them all throughout Florida…it became a fetish. After moving in my RV, I slowed down my compulsive tree growing addiction due to lack of space to put all my little tree babies. IMG_1248The beauty of watching a seed grow into an actual tree that bears healthy and expensive fruit gratifies me on many levels. I’ve fantasized many times about having an avocado tree nursery and then planting them in yards all over Florida. There was Johnny Appleseed. I am Jai Maa Avocado Tree. I even turned my sister, Heifer, onto this fetish. She lives in Atlanta where avocado trees can’t survive the harsh winters, but she hosts sometimes dozens of baby trees, bringing them in her home during the snowy months. It literally looks like a jungle in her home around Christmas.

On our final day in Tennessee, we were already feeling nostalgic. I went into town with Starr’s car one more time to see a last minute client before it was time to pack up and head out for Ashville, North Carolina. Since I have a tendency to be on “angel time”, Janna was blowing up my phone like a stalker. She even called the store to see if I was still alive.

“Jai Maa, it’s for you,” the receptionist said as I walked to the phone knowing Janna was on the other line worrying about me. I’m comfortable being a lone wolf and having someone hunt down the hunter triggers me.

“I’m on my way, Janna,” I said briskly.
“Okay, okay, you’re just a few hours later than you said and I was worried. You know we need to be out of here soon, right? I just don’t know how to pack up.”“I’m coming now, we’re fine. Be there soon.” I don’t blame her for being worried. I was hours passed schedule, but who’s counting when you’re your own boss? I love being on my own clock…it is another beautiful sign that I am free. I hugged everyone at Atlantis and Kay gifted me with a few special quartz crystals before I left. The Atlantis Spiritual Center was a blessing and I was already beginning to miss them.IMG_1311

Janna and I scrambled around like mice and packed up in record timing. She was in a peppy mood about heading to Ashville and I was exhausted thinking about the night ahead of me. I left both Renny and Jim a signed copy of my book on the doorsteps of their RVs since they weren’t home and we pealed out of the Davy Crockett Birthplace R.V. Park.

We drove an hour and a half through rolling mountains of North Carolina sun-setting-beauty before arriving in Ashville near dark. I unpacked as quickly as possible, got my cats settled, plugged in the R.V., met our new yard host, gave Janna some money for groceries for the few days she would be there without me, and then drove three and a half more hours to Durham, N.C. to return Starr her car. I’m pretty sure I’ve earned my gypsy badge on my Girl Scout sash by now.

To visit the Atlantis Spiritual Center’s website, CLICK HERE!

To learn more about the Davy Crockett Birthplace Campground, CLICK HERE!

Davy Crocket and other Hillbilly Friends

IMG_1080“Oh God!” I said. “We’re going to be late. Do we have the tubs and books in the car?”
“Yes, I packed everything. What’s the address so I can plug it into the GPS?” Janna said as we buckled up in Starr’s car and pealed out of the Davy  Crockett Birthplace State Park.

Tonight, I was teaching my Hypnosis and the Subconscious Mind class’ at the Atlantis Spiritual Center in downtown Johnson City, Tennessee. Rev. Edward had been an absolute earth angel in arranging as many workshops as possible for me to facilitate over the next week. Given the fact that there was little time to promote, I assured Rev. Edward I was not attached to how many people showed up and felt grateful to do what I loved on such short notice. Even if only one person attends my workshop, that is one person I trust the Divine has guided to receive healing of some kind. I teach with the same fiery intensity no matter how big or small the audience.

On angel time as always, Janna and I quickly parked and ran into the Atlantis Spiritual Center. The store was beautiful. Decorated with crystals and treasures from all over the world, it was a sight to be seen. The founder, Kay, greeted us and walked us back to the side of the building to the room where I would teach. Already guests were coming in, curious to learn what hypnosis was all about.

The light bulbs lit up above the audiences’ heads all evening long and Kay seemed to enjoy herself as well. She had this gentle, loving, grounded personality with soft eyes that communicated she was safe and approachable. Kay and her staff treated us like family during our magical week in Tennessee and did everything they could to make us feel loved and at home.

Davvy Crockett Birthplace RV ParkBack at the Davy Crockett RV Park, Janna and I were starting to wear on each other’s nerves. Being cooped up in a small home on wheels was a stretch for both of us and there was little space to have any personal down time. I was emitting a lot of energy, not only trying to make this tour happen by the seat of my pants, but also financially taking care of us both. And especially after teaching, I need time to rejuvenate and be in my own energy field. I had quinoa and cut up vegetables all over the counter when Janna and I crashed into an emotional power struggle. Both of us felt insecure that our needs would not be met. Both of us felt insecure of our needs not being met and though we had communication skill training, a volatile power struggle seemed more seductive than conscious communication at four in the morning.

The following day I felt weak and miserable. I had leaked a tremendous amount of energy on the button-pushing battle field and said hurtful things to my friend in a desperate attempt to shut down the fight. Though it worked, I felt horrible about using my intelligence as a weapon against someone I loved. I prayed that God would give Janna a distraction for the day so that I could be by myself and rebuild my lost energy. I felt so low, that my finances reflected my loss of power. We would have to park in a Wal-Mart parking lot soon if I did not get back on my pivot point and find the strength to manifest what we needed.

riverI went for a walk down to the river and prayed for guidance. Over the past few years I have become so sensitive to other people’s energy that I have trouble knowing where my energetic field ends and another begins. My empathic nature has been a great gift to understanding and helping those I serve, but being so sensitive can also feel like a nightmare at times. I’ve turned into a bit of a hermit and have found solace living in the woods, tucked away from the abrasiveness of civilization. I want to feel safe just like anyone else and quite often I feel scattered and vulnerable after being around people for long periods of time. Reflecting on a rock, I saw a dad with his two young boys approach with fishing rods. Both boys couldn’t have been any older than five and wore little baseball caps and held Mickey Mouse fishing rods in their hands. Their dad, close behind, cautioned them to be careful as they hopped from rock to rock toward the river. The innocence of the three of them melted my heart and I felt safe to walk back to the campsite.

path to riverI stopped by a dock overlooking the river and an older man named Jim and his dog, Sadie, came over to greet me. Jim was a hilarious story-teller with a country twang that hooked my ears. He told me about his great-great-grandpa who ran moonshine stills in “these parts round yonder right here” as he pointed to the hills across the river. I laughed hysterically as he told me that one man chased down another man who owed him a dollar and shot him.Jim & Sadie

“Did he die?” I asked wide-eyed on the edge of my seat like a little kid sitting around the campfire waiting for Pa to deliver the punch line.

“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah,” Jim said, with a long country draw and mischievous twinkle in his eyes. It was all I could do to hold in my roar of laughter triggered from his corky Hillbilly mannerisms. I was completely mesmerized by him and his stories. I looked up to see Janna mingling with a few other campers who were building a fire. Thank God we both had a day to ourselves.

Jim and Sadie wondered off to finish their walk and I headed over to Janna. Her new friends shared their campfire wrapped-in-foil-meal with us along with a few beers. Janna mentioned that the park’s patrol, Renny, had also invited us over for hotdogs on the grill. I felt relieved that food was being offered in abundance since we were out of groceries and money.

I left Janna with her new friends and party-hopped over to Renny’s campfire. He told me stories about being a cop while he roasted hotdogs over a grill he made from the inside of a commercial washing machine. As country-bumpkin as that may sound, it was the classiest grill I had ever seen; light-weight, easy-to-make, portable, and could sell for a pretty penny if he ever decided to turn that into a business. Truly, this grill was brilliant. We joked about our first impressions of each other the first night Janna and I arrived on the campground past midnight.

“I could not believe you came out in your underwear with a gun!” I said. “We are two young girls with three cats for crying out loud!”

“Well, you know, the minute you started speaking, your voice was so calming and peaceful that I wanted to get a better look at you in the moonlight,” he confessed. “You sounded like an angel. Then, when you came down the next morning to pay for your campsite, I was speechless. I have seen many people pass through here throughout the years, but you were the most exotic creature I had ever seen.”

It was hard for me to take in such a kind compliment after feeling so depleted from the night before. I knew the Divine was placing certain people in my day to give me love and help strengthen back up my self-esteem. Little by little, my energy was coming back and my prayers of abundance were being answered.

The next morning, Janna and I didn’t speak about our breakdown, but I got by her body language that she wanted to move forward and make the best out of this trip. She went canoeing down the river with her new friends and it gave me another day to be in my own space.

Campfire friendsThat night, we had dinner with her campfire friends again. This time the menu was corn soaked in butter and seasonings and wrapped in foil while resting on the fire. After downing shots of Peppermint Schnapps and Jack Daniels, we all thought it would be a fun idea to sneak into the Davy Crockett Park after hours.

As we were walking through the park, something pushed me forward and I slammed flat down on my face in the dirt. I just laid there with my nose kissing the sand for a minute, confused as to “what” pushed me. It wasn’t the fellow I was walking with. “Damn ghost,” I said stumbling to my feet. I could feel spooks all over the historical site and could even hear laughter through the veil of the night sky when I took my nose dive into the dirt.

I usually don’t drink liquor…they call it “spirits” for a reason. Wine does me fine, but liquor sometimes opens me up to being tampered by little ghost butt heads. With scrapes on my knee, nose, and both hands, I dusted off the dirt and convinced the group that skinny dipping in the nearby lagoon was a bright idea…which is another reason I stay away from liquor. After enough shots, I’ll skinny dip with the pope.pushed by a ghost

my angelI managed to make it back to my camper and woke up the next morning still in my dress and spooning my cats. Janna was awake and having breakfast with our new friends at their campsite. She tried to tell one of the guys that I was not a morning person and to let me sleep, but he insisted on knocking on my door anyway to see if I wanted breakfast. I opened one eye like an angry werewolf and prayed for his sake that he would go away. He then, God bless him, walked into my camper.

“Jai Maa, I made some breakfast for you. Are you hungry?” he asked.

“I’m not ready to wake up yet. I will come out when I’m ready. Thank you,” I snapped. Poor thing. I can be quite ferocious when I’m woken up before I want to be. I rolled over and slept for another four hours.

Later that afternoon, Jim and his wife stopped by my camper to give me a sticky note with a scribbled map to the best mom-n-pop restaurant “round yonder down the hill right there.” Jim was something else. The map he drew on the sticky note was so precious, I wanted to pinch his cheeks.

Say "no" to Jack DanielsJanna and I looked like zombies as we drove through the rolling hills on a mission for food. We only backed up a few times, waving down a local once and asking where the two-story red barn was on the yellow sticky note we held out the window. By this point, Janna and I had accessed our hustler skills to get us through until my next set of workshops. We thought about who owed us money, who we had helped in the past and would help us now, and who would be generous enough to just give us a quick financial boost. As a result three amazing men from Florida came to our rescue and put money in my PayPal account. By the grace of God, we stayed safely at the campsite, abundantly fed from our new RV park friends and avoided the Wal-Mart parking lot. We were so grateful. God is great and our faith was once again affirmed!

beauty 4The sticky note map prevailed and the mom-n-pop restaurant was the most adorable shack with an extensive collection of country knick-knacks all over the walls. Who would have thought a charming place like this would be all the way up in the hills past a few corn fields in the middle of nowhere? After ordering what we wanted, Janna went to the bathroom and I pulled out my debit card to shack

“I’m sorry ma’am. We only take cash or check,” the waitress said in a country accent you only hear in the movies. I just starred at her blankly with a face that expressed hang-over-from-hell and thought I would cry.

“Wait, hold on!” I said as I fingered through the side pocket of my handmade Om purse from India. Something told me to put a few ‘emergency bucks’ in that pocket and it was exactly enough for the bill and even a tip!

Janna and I couldn’t wait ’til we got back to the RV park to eat our take-out. We tore into that barbecue like two starving vultures and got lost in the hills along the way back to our camper. Like dorks with barbecue sauce smeared across our faces, we sung our favorite mantra to the top of our lungs: “All our needs are always met abundantly. Amen.”
beauty 1“Scenic route today Janna, cause I don’t know where the hell we’re at,” I said, eating french fries from my lap. Every turn we made looked like a post card. The scenes were so beautiful.

“Look at all the corn in that field!” I shouted. “We should pull over and grab us a few ears for dinner.”

“Um…and get shot?” Janna asked. “These people up here aren’t afraid to just bury us in the mountains. You know that, right?”beauty 3

I was only half-joking, but she had a point. We were back in harmony again and felt at peace. I’ve known Janna since birth and have experienced some crazy adventures with her throughout my life. As much as we pester each other like siblings, she is my “ride or die” friend and would travel to and through hell with me if I needed her to. Even though at times we wanted to pull each others’ hair out, I was grateful she came with me on this magically bizarre book tour.


To learn more about the Atlantis Spiritual Center in Johnson City, TN, CLICK HERE

To learn more about the Davy Crockett Birthplace State Park, CLICK HERE

Journey to Tennessee

IMG_0870My three cats screamed their heads off as we drove in downtown Atlanta to get their rabies shots. Since I’ve never owned a credit card in my life, and I manifest what I need moment by moment by the seat of my pants, my sister generously put my vet bill on her credit card to be paid back later. She even offered to take care of my skittish cat, Mandovi, while we traveled for the next few weeks to ensure that he wouldn’t run away. I considered her offer and was once again torn by fear and faith.
You would think my cats would be used to being in moving vehicles by now, but I think Janna and I were more used to tuning out there high pitched screams. Over what sounded like my cats being tortured, Janna and I sung our hearts out to 80’s and 90’s music, just like we did as dorky kids thinking we were Miss Thang. We were in and out of the vet in less than half an hour.

Pimpmobile on top Heifer's car

Heifer & Erin

Truly, my sister is an amazing giver. She and her childhood friend, Erin, came to Shady Groove for a cook-out and a swim in the lake to celebrate our approaching trip to Tennessee. Heifer gifted me with a small pink vacuum for my camper and enough paper towels and toilet paper to survive an Apocalypse. Nicki and Erin also brought a huge float we nick-named the Blue Lagoon Pimpmobile because of its’ size and luxury. Janna, our token red-headed fire ball, accidentally slit the $150 blow-up toy with the sharp edges of my RV’s door when she slung it open. We spent more time trying to calm Janna down from her repeated apologies than we did patching up the hole with gaudy black gorilla tape. All of us had known each other since childhood and we laughed at how nothing in our dynamic had seemed to change. Once the slit was no longer leaking air and our tinted water bottles were filled with sangria, we topped the humongous float to my sister’s car and drove down to the beach.IMG_0376
When we were floating in the lake, a deep sense of peace melted over me. With my head back, I soaked in gratitude for this trip and reflected on how I almost allowed the fear of the unknown block me from experiencing the joy of God’s miracles and gifts. Most of my life has been lived boldly on the edge, still I feel a tremendous amount of fear every time I take that first leap. “Leap and trust that the net will appear” was my mantra upon taking this trip. Though I was ill-prepared and only had enough money to get us to our first destination, God was showing me that faith is always rewarded with abundance.


IMG_0374“I’m going back in, I’m starting to get sick,” my sister said as she slipped off the float and started swimming to shore. She has always had a sensitive stomach and the rocking of the waves was finally getting to her. Though this was just a lake, there were speed boats galore and even a few yachts cruised through this waterfront paradise. We dragged the Pimpmobile across the parking lot to a small docking harbor with still waters. We finished our sangrias as the sun set and swam the float back toward the shore once our appetites told us it was time for dinner. My sister backed up her car down the boat ramp and we put the massive float back on top of her vehicle. She thought her car was in drive when it was actually in reverse when she floored it.
“Ahhhhh!” Janna screamed as Erin yanked her out of the way from being run over.
“Oh shit! Are you okay?!” Heifer yelled out the window. Both Erin and Janna were standing back up from taking a nose dive into the lake. It was a close call, but no one got hurt. Erin literally saved Janna’s life.
“Go! Go! Go!” I said jumping into the passenger seat when nearby people yelled at what was happening. The last thing we needed was park ranger drama.
IMG_0402Back at the eagle’s nest (our RV nook on top of the hill), we grilled a gourmet feast and roasted smores for dessert at our campfire. We had completed round one of our trip and were ready for Tennessee.
“I’m going to keep Mandovi and just trust everything will be okay,” I said to my sister at our candle lit picnic table.IMG_0420
“Are you sure? I think he would be safer with me,” she said.
“He would definitely be safer with you. But if traveling in an RV is going to be our lifestyle, I would rather him get used to it now verses trying to adjust later. I’m scared something might happen to him, too, but I don’t want to live in fear. I’m just going to trust that he’ll be okay.”

Tennessee or bust! We packed up Mondovi in the cat carrier first, put all of our doo-dads into tubs so that they wouldn’t fly around while driving, rolled up the electric chord and water hose and drove down the hill from our eagles nest to the sewage station.

After we emptied the Goddessmobile’s poop tank, we gassed up and made a stop by Auto Zone to replace my shredded windshield wipers. Once again, we had just enough money for everything we needed and barely a penny more. After a friendly employee at Auto Zone replaced the windshield wipers for us, we were off!

IMG_1048Janna drove Starr’s car close behind me as we headed toward Tennessee. Before we left, she called the Davy Crocket’s Birthplace National State Park and asked them to hold a RV slot for us incase our other plan fell through. Our ‘other’ plan was that Rev. Edward was still making phone calls to see if anyone in his community would host us in their yard. This, of course, was my preferred option since the Goddessmobile consumes little energy and RV Parks can be sometimes the price of a hotel room. I prayed for the most benevolent outcome and trusted that the Divine would give us exactly what we needed.rv 2
After Rev. Edward’s extensive search on finding us a yard to no avail, he looked up all of the surrounding RV parks to find us the best deal. Even though there were cheaper parks than the one Janna found, they did not have all of the amenities that would support a ‘no compromise’ trip. It wasn’t about money. It was about trusting that “God does not expect us to compromise ourselves in order to live the life of our dreams.” And it wasn’t about being a princess, either. I wanted to be happy, safe, and comfortable and I didn’t need the Taj Mahal to do that.IMG_1047
IMG_1052We stopped for dinner in Dillsboro, North Carolina. Dillsboro is a charming arts and crafts town which is close by my family’s mountain home. I took Janna on a tour to my favorite shops, which were unfortunately closed, before we decided on a restaurant. Though it was getting dark and we didn’t really have a secure plan, we chose not to stress or rush our adventure. We savored our dinner, told stories and had a few laughs, and then buckled back up for Tennessee.IMG_1055
We arrived to the Davy Crocket Birthplace RV Park around midnight. I was grateful that I bought myself an I-phone for my most recent birthday present because its’ GPS was like a glass of ice water in hell trying to find the place. We weaved through the hills in the dark, slithered down a few dirt roads, raked over rail road tracks, and then maneuvered down more narrow dirt roads that looked like peoples’ driveways until we found the park. I wanted to kiss the ground when we finally arrived.
“Janna, what did the guy say when you called? It doesn’t look like anyone’s here,” I said hopping out of the Goddessmobile.
“He said to just come, I don’t know why they aren’t answering their phone,” Janna said calling the main office again.
“Okay, let’s just park our RV in one of these slots and take care of the registration in the morning. It doesn’t look like we have any other choice and I don’t think they’ll mind since they knew we were coming.”
“Who’s there?!” a man said bolting out of his RV toward us. Under the moonlight, I could tell he was in his tighty-whities packing a gun…looked like a 357.
“Um, hi there, um, we spoke to someone earlier that we were coming?” I said startled. Did he really have to approach us like the police? We were two young women with three cats, for crying out loud.
“Well, the park is closed, you can’t check in until the morning,” the fellow said aggressively. That’s it, time to pull out my Jedi mind tricks. I was tired and we were parking on one of these slots. Period.
“Yes, I understand we can’t check in until the morning and I’m okay with that. Now which slot do you suggest we park in until then? We have been driving all night and I’m quite tired,” I said gently, but with authority.
“Wait a minute, are you the two ladies with the cats that called earlier?” he softened.
“Yes, that’s us.” It was almost hilarious. He approached us as if we were a bomb threat.
“Oh, okay, find any spot you would like,” he transformed into a chivalrous gentleman. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. My name is Renny and my camper is right over there,” he pointed.
“Okay, thank you, sir,” I said and hopped back into my RV.
We pulled into the vacant slot that looked most suitable for my cats, plugged in the chords and hoses, and went to bed. It wasn’t until morning that we learned that the fierce RV Park protector, Renny, was in fact a retired cop with a heart of gold.

Atlanta Adventures

Arriving at Shady GroveWaking up in the beautiful campsite of Shady Groove on Lake Lanier was breathtaking. We were high up on our own hill and could see the lake down through the trees. Walking distance from our private drive was a cozy beach with clean white sand and water that felt like silk.IMG_0843

I left our paradise to see two in-house clients for hypnotherapy in Atlanta. My friend in the Smokey Mountains was making arrangements for me to come up the following week and facilitate my workshop, and tomorrow we would drive two hours north into the mountains of MacCaysville, Georgia, to teach at the Oracle of Delphi. Everything was coming together smoothly.

The drive to MacCaysville was magical. There were apple orchids everywhere along the winding road to the top of the mountain. Before leaving, I got an intuitive hit that my workshop would not happen, but to go anyway. I only booked the workshop a few days prior to leaving Florida, so I didn’t have any expectation. I just wanted to throw myself in the game and put my work out there.

We arrived to the Oracle of Delphi and there was no one there except a dog named Dewy. I called the office and left a message that we were on the property. After a few moments of searching for a staff, we surrendered and relaxed into a playful, adventure mode.Dewy and the Oracle of Delphi

Janna and I explored the winding wooden stair cases and wrap-around porches of the three story chalets that scattered down the mountain to the river. The main book store and office was locked, but these beautiful retreat homes were open. Each one of them had multiple bedrooms, kitchen areas, bathrooms, and lush living rooms with Egyptian and other exotic ethnic décor. We were like kids on a treasure hunt, uncovering each nook and cranny of this Heaven on Earth property.

Dewy was a wonderful tour guide and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was the residential shaman who had shape-shifted to sense out our energy. This place was truly magical.

We considered jumping into a river for a dip, but Dewy protested against it. He barked repeatedly as if he was warning us not to. We trusted him, gave him some final loving, and left.

I had remembered a recent Guidance reading where my Angels told me that sometimes I needed to be distracted by a sparkly carrot in order for them to sneak magic in the back door. This was one of those experiences. I was guided to book my workshop at what I thought was a rinky-dink bookstore and I discovered a magnificent healing, spiritual retreat center instead.

Feeling trust and in the flow, I connected with my friend in the Smokey’s who had an unexpected turn of health challenges and could not host me in North Carolina the upcoming week. For a minute, my stomach clinched and I noticed I had clung to North Carolina being my next place of security on this vulnerable, unplanned road trip. Once again I reminded myself that the workshops are not my Source, the book sales are not my Source, and friends helping me are not my Source, GOD IS MY SOURCE. My friend in the Smokey’s had generously created a professional brochure I could add to my marketing kit for potential future engagements. I was being gifted in unexpected ways and this trip was about trusting the flow and mastering my faith.

Jai Maa & LeahOne of my friends in Atlanta, Leah, invited me to the humongous Farmer’s Market later on that week. I bought tons of organic vegetables for juicing along with yummy chocolate covered pistachios and toffee. While I was wandering the isles like a butterfly in a labyrinth, I received a call from a minister I had reached out to weeks ago about hosting my workshop.

“Hey Rev. Edward!” I lit up like a kid on Christmas.

“Hey there Rev. Jai Maa! We finally connect. How are you?”

“I’m great, I want to come out there and teach! How soon can I come?” I didn’t waste anytime getting to business…I was hungry to teach.

I met Rev. Edward months ago at a conference where I had been asked to be the keynote speaker. He and his wife were impressed by my workshop and told me that when I was ready, to come see them in Tennessee. And here I was in the Atlanta Farmer’s Market, watching the next part of my trip unfold.

Now the only problem Janna and I faced was hanging out in the gorgeous RV national park for another week lounging at the beach and eating all the wonderful groceries I got at the Farmer’s Market. Darn.

Jai Maa and ducks


Starr & Jai Maa While waiting for the Tennessee date to approach, I was connecting with my fabulous friend Starr, from Durham, North Carolina about coming to her city and teaching a workshop. I knew that I was going to see her, so I had 300 of my books shipped to her home. Spontaneously, I asked her if I could borrow her car while she made a trip out to Colorado over the next two weeks. Being the incredible friend she is, Starr drove six hours to Atlanta to lend us her car and filled her trunk with my books. She warned us that the gas gauge wasn’t working so well and that we should probably fill up the gas tank soon. After making her a gourmet vegetarian meal, we took her to the airport. As she was driving, Janna and I were flashing in and out of our normal bickering, and testing the bounds of a button-pushing battle field.

Starr, amused yet slightly disturbed, watched how quickly we could kinda-sorta-not-really-playfully throw jabs at each other and then shift back to laughter and harmony.

During the long trip into town, I had to pee so bad my eyes started to bulge from my head. We were already running late and were worried that Starr may miss her flight. I searched for a win/win solution. I looked down, grabbed Starr’s empty large smoothie cup, pulled up my dress, and squatted in the floor board without saying a word.

“Ahahaha! Are you peeing?!!” Starr squealed in laughter.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh, that feels sooooo good. Sorry, Starr, I couldn’t wait. I had to pee!” I said and filled up her entire cup. We were caught in down-town rush hour traffic and every exit had skyscrapers with no easy public access to go potty. It was what it was.

I’m sure my selfless hippie move supported Starr in making it to the airport on time. She reminded us that the gas gauge didn’t work and we should probably fill up the tank soon. A short while later, I had an intuition that I needed to fill up the tank, but Janna had a different understanding of how the mileage worked and assured me that we still had a lot of gas.

I negated my intuition and we ran out of gas.

Thank God it happened at my RV and not somewhere driving around in Atlanta. Janna promised me sugar plum fairies and unicorns that it would all be okay and to not worry about it, so I didn’t.My sister, Nicki (aka Heifer) and Janna

My sister Nicki, who I call Heifer, came over for dinner and we spent the evening unwinding and playing in the camper like giggling little kids in a fort. Heifer told us that there was a rabies outbreak around the area and that she would lend me the money to get my kids their shots. My kitties absolutely love their Aunt Nicki. She is always bringing my boys treats, cleaning out their ears, and giving them endless love. She is a cat whisperer just like me and I am grateful for her love and support of my little soul mates. She said she would arrange the appointment later in the week, put it on her credit card, and text me the address of where to go. I have the best sister!

Our John Deere Chariot HerosIn the morning, Janna took the liberty to deliver her promise that everything would be okay. She went on a hunt and found a few park maintenance guys who were generously willing to help while I was still asleep. I woke up as they drove up and poured gas into the car, causing it to finally start. One of them took us on a ride in the John Deere Chariot (the RTV) throughout the trails of the park. Janna sat in the back and waved to people like she was Miss America. There are truly no such things as obstacles, only opportunities to strengthen our faith and experience the magic of God. Our “obstacle” of running out of gas turned into making new connections and going on a joy ride. We were having a blast.

The First RV Book Tour


I sat straight up in bed in the back of my RV knowing that there were only two possibilities that could make a sound that big. One, an oak tree fell on my camper or two, Janna fell from the overhead sleeping loft onto the floor.

“Janna???” I called out in the dark.

IMG_0765 “I’m okay…I’m okay,” she said through short breaths. It was obvious she had hurt herself. It was the day before I, my three male oracle cats, and my friend I had known since birth would leave Gainesville, Florida for my first Break Through Your Threshold book tour and travel throughout the Southeast United States. Janna is a beautiful model with long strawberry lush curls and fair skin that made her hazel-green eyes sparkle like smoky emeralds. She has the kind of beauty and intoxicating enthusiasm I believed could add to the magnetism of my trip. Best of all, she believed in me and had ever since we were children. She felt inspired to quit her corporate job and travel on the road as my assistant, saying that she knew this was an inspiration from God. I was grateful for my friend who now hobbled around the yard with a sprained, swollen foot that soon turned black and blue.

Nothing seemed to be going smoothly. I only had one gig booked in Atlanta in the beginning of the trip and another in Atlanta five weeks later at the end of the trip. There was nothing planned in the weeks in between and I had less than $200 to my name. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

“I can’t do this, Janna. I didn’t plan out my route properly and I have barely enough money to get us to Atlanta.”

“It’s okay, Jai Maa, I know you’re scared and that’s okay,” she comforted me without getting swept away into my emotional upheaval.

It was nice to have a friend not waver from her faith in me when I slipped into bouts of doubt and overwhelming fear. I calmed down and prayed, asking for guidance. I came to the same conclusion I teach in my workshops: that there is never the ‘right’ or convenient time to create my vision and that the fear wall will always be there until I moved through it.

I was in Have-Do-Be mode. If I just had enough money and gigs booked, I could do my first book tour and be secure, trusting, and adventurous. But first I need to have the right money and gigs secured before I can feel secure and trusting. Yes, I could have planned my trip better and yes, I could have saved more money than I did. But the truth was, just allowing myself to boldly step out into the great unknown would be the break through. Whether I succeeded or not, prospered or not, just “leaping and trusting that the net would appear” would be the success. Defying the limitations of my logic mind, I made the shift into Be-Do-Have. I chose to be secure, trusting and adventurous and then I did what a secure, trusting, adventurous person would do: I decided to drive north, trusting that the rest of the journey would unfold.


The next morning we were ready! Though I had told Janna that the first thing on the drive-away check list was to secure my timid cat, Mandovi, both of us seemed frazzled with other details and gave away the scattered, energetic hint that the cat home was about to be moving soon. My psychic little Mandovi disappeared out of sight.

“Great!” I said trying to start the RV engine with the battery jumper. My battery is completely dead. After a quick trip to the automotive store, I had a new battery that started the camper, a half tank of gas, and now under $100 to my name.IMG_0763

“God, I hope I have enough to get us up there, Janna.”

“We will be fine, let’s just go,” Janna said hobbling around trying to find my cat. Though I appreciated Janna’s sense of trust and security, I was the one holding full responsibility for the trip. I was constantly stretching my willingness to trust the Divine.

Something told me to check my email before leaving, so I did. I found a message from a friend I hadn’t seen in six years. She said we could come visit her in North Carolina and she would help me plan a workshop! Tears of joy streamed down my face. It was happening! All I had to do was focus on what I wanted, have unwavering faith it would manifest and take the first practical action step of driving north to Atlanta. It was God’s job to figure out the rest of the journey and God was already coming through!

I prayed and asked for guidance on finding my cat. I surrendered and trusted that if my cat was meant to be found, then he would be. When I opened my eyes from my prayer, I walked outside and there was Mandovi! I scooped him up in my arms and tucked him safely in the cat carrier so he couldn’t run off again.

“Um, Jai Maa, did you know that your RV tag is expired?”

“No, it can’t be! I paid up a whole year and a half….oh….it has been over a year and a half. Oops,” I said amused, “I guess we’re going to have to trust that we won’t get a ticket cause we need to get on the road now. I will take care of it when I get home.”

Changing the battery and looking for my cat had put us significantly behind schedule and the RV Park we booked for the weekend would close the gate by 10pm. We packed up, stopped to pump air in the tires, and hauled ass in my thirty foot RV camper (Baby Bella the Goddessmobile) up I-75 to Atlanta with three screaming cats.

IMG_0800Maybe it was the driving hypnosis that washed a wave of peace throughout my mind and body. I looked over to warmly see my cat, Nakomis, curled up and sleeping in Janna’s lap. Janna was directing me through GPS, taking pictures to document our trip, and making necessary phone calls so I could stay focused on the road. She had once gotten up to make me coffee and I felt so grateful to have her support. More importantly, I was grateful to have someone who cares about me share this adventure with me.

My sister who lives in Atlana, who I call Heifer, kindly left us her car as she traveled to Florida for the weekend for a bachelorette party. Knowing we would be later than 10pm to the Shady Groove RV Camp in Cummings, Georgia, we called and asked if they would make an exception and stay open for us. They said yes and once again, the Divine was demonstrating love and support.IMG_0792

“Oh crap! My windshield wipers are shredding!” I yelled as it started to pour down rain while we were approaching Atlanta.

“My side is fine,” Janna said I as slowed down and squinted through the windshield. Only my side was shredding and I had a small streak where I could clearly see the dark rainy road. I hunched over the steering wheel like a grandma and prayed that we would make it to our destination safely.

We picked up my sister’s car and pulled into Shady Groove at 11pm. The staff left our welcome package in the mailbox and a ground’s man came and opened the front gate to let us in. Even in the dark, we could tell that we were in paradise. We backed up the RV into a beautiful paved slab up on a hill next to Lake Lanier and plugged in the electric cord and water hose. My cats went running out of the RV, relieved to be set free from their moving home, and patrolled the area to establish their turf.

I was concerned for my cats’ safety. We would be traveling into mountainous areas with bigger, predator animals and I didn’t want anything to happen to them. I contemplated freedom and control when I was finally resting with the Divine in prayerful meditation. I could avoid my fear of losing my cats by controlling their freedom. They would be guaranteed safety, but less happy as a result. But God did not do this to me. God gives me full freedom because there is nothing that can truly ever harm me. Wanting to further awaken the God within me, I decided to choose trust over denying freedom.IMG_0779

Unpacking all my do-dads, gadgets, and gizmos made me realize that I didn’t need all of this stuff. I had been releasing things from my life for years: I let go of a 1500 sq. ft. home, moved into my fort-on-wheels, and gave away many of my prized possessions. Now that I was touring, I saw how insignificant and time consuming it was to have even the small amount of things I still had. I wanted to be sitting and resting, not unpacking do-dads. This journey was already changing me and I had never felt more scared and more excited in my entire life.

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